Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
>
>(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
>
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
>
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
>
>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
>
>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
>
>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that
he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
>
>A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
>
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>
>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
>
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
>
>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
>
>
>Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
>
>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
>
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while
talking?
>
>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a
gesture you'll never forget.
>
>
>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>
>Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during the first year?
>
>A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>
>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is
politics, what is the other?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..
>
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
>
>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>
>
>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>
>A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of
kissing a lot of people?
>
>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
>
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was
he trying to do?
>
>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
>
>A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
>
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>
>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
>
>
>WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
>WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING.