Author Topic: A couple I likedI found on Silver Lake forums.  (Read 732 times)

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Offline Nutz4sand

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A couple I likedI found on Silver Lake forums.
« on: October 24, 2011, 09:16:17 PM »
During his recent vacation to Martha's Vineyard, President Barack Obama had been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asks his Scottich caddie if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shot. To which the caddie replies: "Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of your driver." The president picks up his driver and cleans the club face, at which point the caddie says "no, the other end."


I thought Fabr might like that one above. This one below just stuck me as good especially with Halloween around the corner.


A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
 

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the Company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:
 

Dear Sir,
We have tried our very best.
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your Wooden Leg up your a$$ and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Your mission isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure its crowded when you get there.

Offline fabr

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Re: A couple I likedI found on Silver Lake forums.
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2011, 05:57:26 AM »
LOL!!!! I like them BOTH!!! Too bad Pres Obama doesn't have a wooden leg................................
"There can be no divided allegiance here.  Any man who says he is an American,
but something else also, isn't an American at all.  We have room for but one
flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is
the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a
loyalty to the American people."
Theodore Roosevelt 1907

-----------------------------------------------------------
"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots" Albert Einstein  (IT'S OFFICIAL THAT DAY IS HERE NOW!)

Offline Carlriddle

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Re: A couple I likedI found on Silver Lake forums.
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2011, 06:01:30 AM »
Be little more like this,

You can keep your CHANGE, I'd like to keep my DOLLAR.

Offline fabr

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Re: A couple I likedI found on Silver Lake forums.
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2011, 06:06:52 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"There can be no divided allegiance here.  Any man who says he is an American,
but something else also, isn't an American at all.  We have room for but one
flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is
the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a
loyalty to the American people."
Theodore Roosevelt 1907

-----------------------------------------------------------
"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots" Albert Einstein  (IT'S OFFICIAL THAT DAY IS HERE NOW!)