WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL
NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
and
It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
and
It's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.
In just forty eight hours
tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory
I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Preserve the Spotted Owl
(in formaldehyde)
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
I FOUND JESUS!
He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana
