Author Topic: Got wood?  (Read 1031 times)

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Offline fabr

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Got wood?
« on: February 19, 2009, 07:50:45 PM »
 Needs a new wife?


A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and
says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember,
but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again
and everything, but..... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but
the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $10,000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that
will work as well as your old one did.....better in fact! However, the thing is, it
does not come cheap. It's $1,000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many
inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if
you had a six inch one before, and you decide to go for a ten incher, she might be a
bit put out. But if you had a ten inch one before, and you decide only to invest in
a six incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays
a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.


'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

"New countertops."




 Yep,needs a new wife. LOL!!!!!
"There can be no divided allegiance here.  Any man who says he is an American,
but something else also, isn't an American at all.  We have room for but one
flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is
the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a
loyalty to the American people."
Theodore Roosevelt 1907

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 " You have all the right in the world to believe any damn thing you'd like, but you don't have the right to demand that I agree with your fantasy"

 

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