Fab, you are suffering from Bush-itis, "those that are not with me are against me", see also
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jingoism and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubris.
Changing the rules AFTER the race is run, so you win.... is cheating, even in America- right? If you condone it or make excuses for it, even in ignorance, then it is also on your honour, if you don't then it's not. And you want to go redneck!?!!?. Better check your honour before hand.
I think "septic tank" is poetically apt...
all hard and unmoving on the outside....
(juz waiting for Eng to get it)
BTW that's how (slang) nick-names are made
"mitty"... hmmm. Oh I know: "Minty"
"Minties" are a candy. Yes that makes it a reference to your ass... boy you yanks are s... l.... o.... w....