DTSFab.com (Desert, Trail and Sand)
General Discussion => JOKES Central => Topic started by: Engineer on February 07, 2013, 08:06:45 AM
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The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie
last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
part.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of
the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "fxxk it, soldier
on!"
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told
her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
The wife said she'd be ok with a threesome. She asked which of her
friends I'd like to sleep with. Apparently I wasn't suppose to give her
two names.
I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got
downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay
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Great but the last two were my favs!
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LOL!!! Trouble in paradise,engineer?